Sealand's discovery
by Mikadocon
Summary: While researching the history of the world's nations, Sealand discovers something scandalous. When he tells the nations at a meeting in England's house about it, misunderstandings are inevitable.   Mentions of GerIta, USUK and SuFin, Crack?


**Disclaimer: I do not own the series 'Axis Powers Hetalia' or any of it's characters.**

**Enjoy!**

Sealand was sitting at his computer, reading about the history of different nations while muttering to himself.

"I will reveal their secret on how to be a strong nation … have to make plans... everyone has to acknowledge me... I will be a cool nation as well..."

After some time his eyes widened and he jumped up from his chair.

"Oh my god! I have to tell everyone! This is unbelievable!"

He dialed Latvia's number and could hardly control himself until the other picked up.

"H-Hello?"

"Latvia, it's me, Sealand. You won't believe what I just found out!"

"Uh, w-what are y-you talking a-about?"

"No, I can't tell you. I have to tell everyone at the same time! When is the next meeting with as many nations as possible?"

"I-I think the next w-world meeting is in a month."

"But that's too late!", Sealand whined.

"Um, well... I-I heard that En-England is holding a meeting t-this afternoon at his h-house. But it's o-only for a few se-selected na-nations..." Latvia's voice hinted that he was slightly worried about what the micronation might have planned out. Still, he didn't dare to ask him.

Sealand sighed dramatically. "Fine, it should suffice for now even if it's at jerk England's house. See you later!"

Not giving the other any chance to respond, he hung up.

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At four in the afternoon, the micronation was standing in front of "jerk England's" door, waiting for him to open it.

"What do you want here, little git?" England had opened the door and was rather irritated to see his little brother. After all, he was holding an important meeting and didn't want to be interrupted.

Instead of answering the question, Sealand quickly ducked under the Englishman's arms, which were leaning against the door frame, and ran inside. He heard chattering coming from one of England's living rooms and turned toward it, ignoring the protests coming from behind him.

He burst into the room and shouted "I have to tell you the shocking truth!"

Most of the nations turned their heads toward him in a confused manner, either wondering who he was or what he was doing here. Latvia, on the other hand, shyly waved at him.

"PETER! What the bloody hell do you think are you doing? We're holding a very important meeting right now!" England had arrived and was now fuming at him. The boy shrugged it off.

"Whatever, jerk."

While America was holding England back who looked like he wanted to strangle the micronation, he made his way over to the middle of the room, enjoying the attention he was given by the dumbfounded nations. Once he was content with his position, he pointed his finger at North Italy.

"You are a pedophile!"

A moment of silence followed.

Then, North Italy started to panic. "I didn't do anything! I'm not a bad person, ve! Save me, Germany!"He clung to the German sitting next to him and sobbed in his shirt.

Sealand huffed. Apparently, the nations weren't as smart as himself and couldn't comprehend what he just said.

"Look, Italy is more than two millenniums old and he is going out with Germany who is one or maybe two centuries old. So in comparison to him, Germany is a baby. This makes him a pedophile."

The addressed nations turned red and looked around awkwardly. A few countries actually nodded in agreement and started to whisper among themselves.

"That's codswallop! Get out of here right now!", England exclaimed angrily.

"And there is another pedophile in this room!" Sealand rose his voice to drown out the voices. Once again, every nation who was present turned his head in his direction.

"It's jerk England!" Everyone now turned towards him. The horrified expression on England's face made Sealand feel pleased with himself.

"Wha– What the bloody hell?"

The micronation smirked. "He is dating America and the age difference between those two is similar to our former sinners."

America paled and dropped his hamburger. 'When did he get this hamburger anyways? It's not like that jerk would buy him something from McDonalds or anything. Nevermind, back to the topic', Sealand scolded himself mentally.

"I heard you two when I had to stay over a few weeks ago because mom and dad were busy. It wasn't the kind of thing I wanted to hear while trying to sleep. I know that you wanted to give me nightmares!"

At this, a few gasps were heard and the American fainted out of embarrassment, leaving England behind to deal with the highly awkward situation.

"Angleterre, you are even more shameless than I thought. That's quite _endearing_, you know~", France purred.

"Sh-Shut up, bloody frog!" England was beyond mortified as seen by the red color that was gracing his face.

Sweden and Finland, however, glared at him. The latter was probably in his overprotective-motherly-mode when he spoke.

"When we asked you to watch him we wanted to make sure that nothing would happen to him. I didn't know you would be this indecent and irresponsible around a small child."

Sealand looked offended at that. "Hey, I'm not a small kid anymore! And besides, I didn't really get any nightmares from hearing it. Even though it _is_ quite disgusting to hear him saying 'I love you' to that American idiot..."

Another moment of silence passed.

Finland looked dumbstruck, as, in fact, did most of the other nations, too. "This was all that you heard?"

"Well, duh, of course! I mean, what else should I have heard, mom?" Sealand looked at his 'mom', not noticing the relieved expression on England's face.

"Um, nothing.", Finland stuttered. "I have to apologize, England."

"Uh, don't mind it.", England answered. "Now, please get out of here before you cause even more confusion, Sealand."

The micronation was disappointed.

"But you didn't say anything about the whole pedophile-affair!"

Finland sighed. He got on his knees in front of him and carefully grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Peter, you do understand that this isn't a sin, don't you? The humans would consider Italy and England to be pedophiles but with us nations, it's different. Our lives and our ways of thinking are different from those of the humans. In comparison to them, there are only a few of us. We may differ in age greatly but we still have to accept each other as equal partners. If we didn't, the older nations would try to gain control over the younger ones as if it was their right to do so. That's what has happened multiple times in the past and we try to overcome this problem. So it's fine for older nations to go out with younger ones. Of course, there are some who still don't accept that fact but it's fine with most of them."

Sealand nodded, supposedly amazed by the wisdom of his 'mom'.

"Okay then, be a good boy and go home now." Finland smiled. He was pleased that his 'son' understood what he was trying to explain.

"Alright, mom."

He quietly made his way to door. Before he stepped out though, he quickly added "But that doesn't change the fact that Italy and England are pedophiles!" and skipped out of the room.

Every nation in the room groaned (aside from America who was still passed out).

"He didn't get a thing I said!"

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**A/N: I just thought that Italy must be a pedophile due to the reason that he is much older than Germany. Then everything went out of hand and I created this. **

**Don't ask me. I have no idea what this is supposed to be. OTL**

**And I know that the ending is kinda off. I had no idea how to finish this fic.**

**Anyways, I hope this story was worth the time you spent reading it. :3**

**Edit: I fixed a few mistakes, that's all. If you see more of them (and I bet you do) it would be nice if you told me. :)**


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